It may be difficult to make sense of what you’re thinking and feeling, and it may be even harder to explain this to your friends and family members. Finding the right words that will cover the meaning or intensity of your feelings can be hard. You may also think about the impact of your words on others and how this will make them feel. 

What you tell them may make them feel a certain way which can be upsetting to see. However, you sharing your feelings with them may help them share their feelings with you and create an environment of openness, honesty, and connection. They may feel included and valued and their support can help you to cope better. 

When going through cancer, you may feel out of control at times. Deciding what you would like to share with whom can give you some control back. You’re in charge of what feels comfortable to share and when and how you would like to share this. For some this may be talking to friends or family face to face, others prefer to speak over the phone. Communication can be verbal, but you could also prefer to talk to someone by writing your feelings down on a piece of paper or in a text message. 

When talking to others, you may have a specific response you’re hoping for. It can be tricky when their response is different from what you anticipated. However, your friend or family member may respond because of how they are feeling in that moment, or they may not yet know what you would find helpful. They may be able to relate to your experience, or they may not be able to. It can be a good idea to communicate what you would like and wouldn’t like and how they can best support you. You’re giving them the time and opportunity to learn how to be there for you.

Sometimes talking to a friend or family member may not feel quite enough and you may want to talk to someone who has been going through cancer too.

You might recognise yourself in their stories, and similarities in experiences and feelings might make you feel less alone. There are others out there who just get it, without necessarily having to explain everything to them.

Peer-support opportunities are a great way to connect with others and there are many ways of doing that. Depending on your preference, you could come together and talk, or you could get to know others by doing an activity together. Or you may be able to meet other young people when you come in for treatment or an appointment or when you stay on the ward. There is even the option of going on trips together or going on a day or night out.

Some peer-support is provided in the hospital by the staff, whilst other events are organised by charities and organisations outside of the hospital. It is very normal to feel nervous or worried about meeting others who are also going through having cancer and lots of young people tell us that they feel this way. It’s always okay to ask for more information if you’re not quite sure yet if this is your thing. 

If you would like to speak to a mental health professional about what you’re experiencing and going through, there are a few different options available. Having cancer can be a really upsetting, stressful and worrying time and it is normal to experience a wide range of emotions which can vary day to day.

Accessing psychological support during this time does not mean there is anything wrong with you or you are not coping. It is an acknowledgement that this can be a difficult time and thinking that through with a professional can be helpful. The options available usually depend on where you receive your cancer treatment, and what is available in your local area.

To find out what is available where you are receiving your cancer treatment you can speak to your Clinical Nurse Specialist or Consultant. To find out what is available in your local area where you live and for more general support not related to cancer, you can speak to your GP. Psychological support may be provided by the hospital, an organisation or charity (MacMillan Cancer Support for example) or a local NHS mental health service.

It would be good to have a think about the support you would find helpful or speak to a professional about this if you are not sure. Would this perhaps be talking therapy, a support group, self-help, or a combination? Based on your preferences and the options available to you, you could decide what would suit you best and you might need different things at different times throughout your cancer treatment and after finishing treatment.

You have finished your treatment and are trying to process what has happened to you, whilst also trying to get back into every-day life that doesn’t involve going back and forth to hospital for treatment.  There could be a wide range of feelings that come up for you, expectedly or unexpectedly. You may be happy and excited, but you may also be a lot less happy than you had expected. It’s normal for young people to find this time of having finished treatment difficult. Others around you may start to move on, whilst you are not ready yet. You may long for normality and getting back into your life from before, but maybe life feels quite different now or you don’t feel like the person you were before. You may have felt that life has been on hold and that you need to catch up. However, it’s important to allow yourself all the time you need to slowly start processing what you have been through and thinking about helpful next steps for you. 

If you are finding this time tricky, now may be a good time to receive some support from a family member, a friend, a peer, or a mental health professional.